I was young and I needed the money.....

I mentioned on the OG Forum that I once went for a job interview in a massage parlour, and details were requested. As I wrote it up for there I thought I'd post it here too.


After I left University with my (really useful) archaeological degree I couldn't get a 'proper' job anywhere. I wanted to work in Stoke and the local museum only had vacancies for people who already had museum qualifications. I worked in Hanley market on a bread, cheese and oatcakes stall (that's where my Mum sold Russ Abbott some cheese); in a clothes shop (but I asked to be made redundant because they were messing me around with my hours); in a Pot Bank where most people were making pots but I was gluing the black artificial coal pieces together that are used in gas-fires (I had a reaction to the glue and started walking into things so I had to leave); and finally in a local cafe that opened for the Pot Banks at 6.30 am, so we had to get there before 6 am.

Me, my Mum and my next-door neighbour all worked there together, with the couple who owned it. The man who owned the 'massage parlour' (he didn't call it that obviously - he was a physiotherapist) used to come in every day for breakfast and then lunch. Apparently his last girl left so he needed a new assistant and asked me if I'd be interested, and that the money would be better than the cafe. He said he'd need to do an interview so to pop in any time. My Mum thought it was a bit dubious(!) so I took her with me, which I don't think he was expecting.

He showed me round - very nice and tasteful - and told me about the kind of work he did. Apparently he was the official physio for Port Vale Football Club (just up the road) so I'd be able to work on all those footballers too. Then he started talking about the 'training'. Apparently I wouldn't need to go to college, he'd teach me everything I needed to know...

When I would be massaging (sorry, physiotheraping) clients they would have various nether regions tastefully covered with a towel. However, I'd have to learn how to massage (sorry, do physiotherapy) on the entire body so, before the place opened each morning, I would have a practical session with him. Of course, so I could learn properly, he wouldn't be using any towels, so I could see exactly what I was doing...

It was at this point that Mum and I decided that this wasn't really the career I wanted to get into so we said thanks and left.

Funnily enough, we got a phone call from Hanley CID a few months later saying that the girl he'd taken on instead of me was being questioned about solicitation, and he was being investigated for running a brothel!!! After we told them I'd only gone for an interview but turned the job down they said it was okay, they didn't need to interview me.

New Car = New Start : this was very good advice!

*still shaking*



I've done it!!!! I'VE FINALLY PASSED!!!!

I think I deafened the poor examiner when he told me because I shrieked so loud then I started crying and shaking so much I could hardly sign the form - the two signatures on it are completely different!

I only got 4 minors (out of an allowable 15) so I drove really well :-D

I'm a Driver!!!

It's taken me two years and eight days to pass, from my very first lesson. I daren't add up how much it's cost me altogether... it was £93 just for today!

Did I mention I'm a Driver!!!

Fourth time unlucky...?

Okay. I'm fed-up and worrying about Saturday. I had a lesson last night and spent half of it in tears. My instructor's had a new car (2006 Mini) which is the same model (thankfully) but the clutch is different, etc. I'll have driven it for a grand total of three hours before my test at 10.44 am on Saturday morning.

I'm so worried I'm going to fail again...I find it *so* frustrating that 17 year old lads pass their test after about 3 lessons and I keep failing. That's not me being derogatory to teenagers btw - it's just my frustration that at 37 I should be able to do this!!!

I'll keep you updated on Saturday.